If the laws of attraction were as concrete as a scientific fact, no man would have to worry about how to attract women. But science can help us understand this age-old question of what makes a man appealing to a woman.
Since the laws of attraction are complicated and we don’t fully understand the how’s and why’s of it all, we know that there are quite a few things men can do to improve their chances with the opposite sex.
So let’s take a look at exactly how to attract women so you can make that elusive romantic connection a little bit quicker.
Can’t I Just Use a Magic Love Potion?
In this world of immediate answers, pills that change your health and groundbreaking scientific discoveries that seem to pop up every year, it stands to reason that someone would invent a magical elixir that could solve all of man’s romantic challenges. But learning how to be irresistible to women is more complex than that since love, attraction and romance are not one-size-fits-all situations.
Instead, we have gathered 30 personality traits, masculine qualities and manly perspectives that you can emphasize in yourself to help you attract women and find the relationships you are looking for. But don’t worry – none of these suggestions require a trip to the plastic surgeon or a job change. Instead, we advise some little fine-tuning of who you are to impact your ability to get the girl you want.
You might like these books on dating:
How to Attract Women Without Talking
We know that changing your life can be hard so if you want to start with some baby steps we’ve got you covered. These 10 tricks are subtle, silent shifts to make when you want to get her attention without making small talk or even before a relationship moves to the conversation stage.
1. Confidently Wear a New Scent
It’s not just your mind playing tricks on you when you feel more confident after spritzing on your favorite cologne or a new scented deodorant. A 2009 study found that not only do guys exhibit more confident behavior when sporting a new scent but that women actually visually described men as more attractive as a result even when the women had no way of knowing they were wearing any fragrance.
So go ahead and add a fresh scented fragrance to your personal care routine because it just might turn someone’s eyes in your direction (but don’t overdo it).
2. Display Expansive Posture
When thinking about what attracts women to men, a guy’s stance is sometimes considered. But multiple studies on the body language and stance used in pictures on dating apps showed that men who used open, expansive body language with their arms in an upward “v” shape or reaching out were repeatedly described as more attractive to women on the app.
» Want to give online dating a try? eHarmony is one of the most popular and highly rated dating apps worth checking out.
In your everyday life (or even in a dating profile picture), use the same non-closed-off posture to subliminally signal to women that you are someone they should consider attractive.
» Readers’ Favorite: You might like this guide on How to Approach a Girl.
3. Be Authentically You
One of the easiest ways how to be attractive to women is to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Look to yourself to fulfill your aspirations and goals without always turning to others to help or support you.
Women see your self-reliance and authenticity as being comfortable in your own skin and they can be confident that they are getting to know the “real” you.
4. Don’t Shave (As Much)
Men looking at how to attract women without talking should consider their 5 o’clock shadow as a benefit. Women see a small stubble as more manly than a clean-shaven face or even a full beard. So consider shaving less to attract the attention of the ladies.
In a 2019 study of facial hair and how it correlates to perceived attractiveness, men sporting heavy stubble received the highest ratings from women.
5. Don’t Hide Your Scars or Flaws
Everyone has blemishes and marks but scars, whether physical or character flaws, are usually hidden from sight at least at first for most men. But a surprising 2009 study looked at how attractive men were rated with and without visible facial scars.
Women reported that they preferred the men with visible scars, a great relief for those worried if their imperfections will keep women from finding them attractive. And emotional vulnerability is just as appealing to women, too, but it doesn’t score as high with women on the first date.
6. Get a Dog
Probably the most fun of all of the ways to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex, getting a dog signals to women that you are settled, can care for something else in your life and you have an affectionate, playful side.
There’s a whole psychology behind the type of dog you choose and of course, bring home a pup that fits your lifestyle and your own expectations for a dog outside of making you more attractive to females. But dog ownership (over cats or any other pet) provides a reason for women to describe you as happy, approachable and more relaxed according to a 2014 Israeli study.
7. Listen Better (and More Often)
Without saying a word, becoming a better listener is a great way to attract women to you. Active listening is something that you practice in the workplace already (and if you don’t you should).
It not only shows women that you hear what they are saying but your body language and small responses can help to clarify thoughts and concerns and show them that you care about the conversation.
» You might like this guide on how to end a text conversation (like a gentleman).
8. Listen to Good Music
Your choice in music can be a turn-off or turn-on to women but probably not in the way that you think. Sure, you both might love that death metal song or both like to sway along to the same 1960s crooners, but the more complex music has a different effect on women than simple sounds do.
If you want her to see you as a suitable long-term partner, associate yourself with more complex musical styles according to an interesting Sussex study looking at composer’s music styles and how attractively women rated them.
Things to Say to Attract a Woman
You could say that how to attract women without talking is a little bit easier than actually finding the right words to say. But finding the right words, topics and ways to converse with women can make you even more appealing to them.
Sitting quietly is not the best way to get to know someone so instead of feeling tongue-tied around someone you want to get to know better, try out one of our suggestions on how to be irresistible to women during a conversation.
» You might like this guide on the qualities women love in men.
Quick note: If you’re enjoying this guide on how to attract women, then you’ll probably find my other writing on all things style, self-development and dating useful. Each week, I share updates, style tips and other things not shared on the blog through my free email newsletter.
To join now, just enter your email address below and click “Get Updates!”
9. Be Open About Your Goals and Dreams
Don’t be shy about what you want out of life when you are talking with a lady. Understandably, what you want from life, your dreams and your aspirations all represent a strong drive to become someone.
Women equate having goals with a strong drive so when an opening happens, jump in and tell her about your dream of opening your own shop or attending law school. Not only will she know the true you but she will also perceive you as having a strong drive to succeed, something that women say is the mark of a sexy, strong man that knows who he is and wants to be in the future.
10. Be (A Little) Sensitive
Show her that you trust her by being vulnerable. As you get to know each other, show your sensitive side to demonstrate your attractiveness as a potential mate but don’t fake it or you risk losing her trust.
» You Might Like: How to Know if Your Ex Wants You Back (and What to Do About It)
11. Demonstrate Family Values
Just because you are showing interest in each other doesn’t mean that kids and family life is right around the corner.
But showing her that you are family-man material by talking about what family means to you, what your family dynamics are like or how you feel about having kids lets her know that you have long-term potential, making you more attractive as a partner right now.
12. Find Your Sense of Humor
Life is a lot more fun when we can laugh at ourselves and with our friends. And multiple studies prove that women love to have a partner that not only makes them laugh but also laughs along with their own brand of humor as well.
So to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex, loosen up your attitude enough and see the lighter side of life. Just make sure that you are not laughing at the expense of others or you risk her seeing you as rude or disrespectful.
» You Might Like: Will I Ever Find Love? When You’re Ready, It Will Find You (Here’s Why)
13. Improve Your Communication Skills
We know that women tend to be more loquacious than men but upping the sheer volume of words isn’t really the way to improve your communication with women.
Instead, think before you speak and improve the quality of the conversations you have with her and she will find you more attractive in the long run.
How to Get a Woman’s Attention
Will waving a heart-shaped flag and holding a blinking light get her attention? Of course, but the best kind of attention is when you are doing your thing and she just… notices you.
Here are a couple of ideas on getting her to see you without giving her the nod across the room.
14. Be a Kind Person
Psychologists tell us that how others view our personality and character is tinged by how they perceive us as a whole, even if those assumptions are not based on real actions.
» Related: You might like this guide on how to be a gentleman (rules & etiquette).
This so-called “halo effect” of a woman thinking you are a kind person means that, as a result, she may automatically perceive you as being a hard worker, a giving person, and, to your great benefit, more attractive. To get her attention, let her catch you being kind and let the halo effect work the magic for you.
15. Don’t Be Afraid to Look Proud of Yourself
After studying what women think about different facial expressions of men, researchers determined that the look of pride was the most appealing to women.
Society encourages us to be humble – and that’s a great thing to be – but when the situation warrants it, show your pride in winning that big contract or getting that promotion, and science tells us that she will see that pride as attractive.
16. Learn To Recognize the Signs of Flirting
As obvious as it may seem, to get her attention you need to be able to recognize and act on her signs of flirting. Scientists have determined that specific patterns of actions indicate a woman’s interest in someone: smiling, lifting eyebrows, widening eyes, head tilting and looking away.
» Related: You might like this guide on flirting over text (with a girl).
These actions seem to be universal and innate so men should know what they mean and take the opportunity to strike up a conversation when they see the tell-tale signs of flirting.
How to Attract a Woman Physically
In addition to what you do and don’t say around women, there are some things you can do that will specifically answer the question of how to physically attract a woman.
Men are visual, physical creatures but in many ways so are women. Test drive our five top tips for snagging a woman’s attention with your body.
17. Hit the Gym
You don’t have to turn into a gym rat for women to be physically attracted to you.
But scientists think that a woman’s instinctive reproductive signals make them more attracted to men with muscles for short-term relationships, likely a nod to a female’s innate desire to reproduce with a healthy mate.
18. Include Garlic in Your Diet
We know that strong scents like garlic and onion can be a real romantic turn-off when you are getting intimate with someone. But did you know that the lingering body scent that garlic gives off the next day is attractive to women?
A 2007 study confirmed that women reported men to be more pleasant and attractive with this surprising mild body odor present.
19. Present a High-Status Impression
If you want to know how to sexually attract women, find ways to position yourself so that you appear elevated in society. Pictures of men next to fancy cars or in luxury apartments were found to be more appealing to women than to men who weren’t.
So we’re not saying you should drop your next paycheck on that hot roadster you have your eye on but if you already have one, find a way to snap your next Instagram picture next to it.
20. Stay in Your Lane
When someone is driving in the fast lane but they are more suited for the slower-paced, less sexy slow lane, everyone groans a little bit at their lack of self-awareness. In the dating world, the dating lane that you (genetically and health-wise) find yourself in is where you should be looking for a partner.
If you want a woman to be physically attracted to you she needs to sense that you are both in the same attractiveness category. Of course, there are exceptions, but generally, women are attracted to guys going their speed in the dating race.
» Readers’ Favorite: You might like this guide on Romantic Date Ideas.
21. Take a (Smart) Risk
Risky behaviors can fall into two types: “hunter-gatherer risks” like mountain biking or deep-sea scuba diving and “modern risks” like plagiarizing on a research paper or mishandling dangerous chemicals.
According to a 2014 study, women are physically attracted to men who take hunter-gatherer risks because they are closer, scientists think, to the primal urges that early men exhibited that made them good providers for their families.
But “modern risks” were found to be seen as unappealing and even dumb by women. Men practicing smart risk-taking are more likely to attract women physically so snag that mountain bike or sign up for those scuba certification classes.
How to Attract a Woman if She’s Not Interested
When you find that she is already not interested in you but you are hoping to change her thinking, it’s time to do some things that show what a great catch you are.
22. Enjoy the Ride Instead of Focusing on the Destination
One the things that women don’t like is when men have a preconceived idea of how their relationship will end up. She will be totally turned off if she thinks you are only giving her attention because you are hoping it ends up with you two together.
Instead, enjoy getting to know her part without any pressure. Let her know you like having her as a friend and if it leads somewhere organically she will know that you have loved the connection you are making without focusing only on the end result.
23. Exude Confidence (But Don’t Be a Jerk About It)
Of course we all know that women are drawn to men with an air of confidence about them. But sometimes it’s hard to look confident when you aren’t, or we suffer by comparing ourselves to others.
This is a case where fake it ‘til you make it can really help you if you don’t naturally have the confidence to spare. Just don’t overdo it because unearned bravado is a big turnoff, too.
24. Have a Little Unplanned Fun
Make time for a little fun in your life. Not only does it keep you from feeling bored but it also provides a great treasure trove of conversation topics for you to choose from when you are socializing.
Women will see you as more attractive when you recount your adventurous side or may even want to jump in and join you when you plan something fun in the future.
25. Keep Up with the World
Watch the news, pay attention to the local sports or read the latest book.
You will have something to talk about and you will learn what’s happening in the world around you and have something to talk about other than your fantasy football league.
26. Make Volunteering a Part of Your Life
If you want to know how to be attractive to women, consider helping others so they can see that you care about your community and humanity as a whole. Volunteer to work at the local shelter or donate your time to a cause that is personal to you in some way.
No matter what, others will benefit and you will, too, by becoming more empathetic and connecting with others during the process. And research has proven that women find men who participate in selfless acts like volunteering more attractive to women so not only will you be helping out your community but women you meet are likely to find you more appealing as well.
More Ways to Be More Attractive to Women
27. Practice Leadership
Women love men who know how to lead effectively without dominating others. Show her you are an effective leader by considering how others will be affected by your decisions and that you can sacrifice yourself for the greater good of others.
Holding strong leadership qualities is what makes a man attractive to women so seek out ways to show that you have them.
28. Practice Mindfulness
When thinking about how to attract women, men can become more self-aware. Women have shown they like men who can think about their own emotions and feelings and can talk about them.
When you want to attract women that are not already interested in you, demonstrating mindfulness of yourself helps them to see you have a self-awareness that could translate into a healthy relationship.
29. Remember That Chivalry Is Not Dead
Acting gentlemanly is more than simply saying please or thank you.
When women see a man who will hold the door for a lady, can use proper etiquette and doesn’t try to dominate conversations, they can imagine what a relationship might be like with someone who knows how to mind his manners (and they won’t be embarrassed to introduce you to mom later on.)
30. Wear a Power Color
While it’s true that the suit doesn’t make the man, the color you wear may very well. When 2010 researchers were seeking to understand what makes a man attractive, they found that cross-culturally women preferred men who were wearing red over any other color.
So snag a red tie or sport that red team jersey to attract the attention of a woman you might like to get to know better.
Attract Women By Turning Inward
31. Develop Your Own Interests, Passions & Sense of Self-Worth
Having a strong sense of self and identity outside of romantic relationships is incredibly important. It allows you to be a whole, confident person on your own rather than depending on others for your self-worth. Some ways to cultivate this:
- Pursue hobbies, activities and interests that you genuinely enjoy and are passionate about – not just to impress others. Things like sports, art, reading, cooking, volunteering, etc.
- Set goals and work towards achieving things that are meaningful to you, whether personal, educational, or career-oriented.
- Spend time on self-care activities that recharge you like exercise, spending time outdoors, meditation/yoga, etc.
- Cultivate a supportive friend group and allow relationships outside of romantic ones to bring you happiness.
- Practice positive self-talk and self-acceptance. Don’t base your worth on your relationship status.
When you have a rich life, identity and self-confidence apart from romantic entanglements, it becomes less of a need and more of a potential addition. You aren’t looking to a partner to complete you, but to complement the fullness you already have. This restrains neediness and allows healthy interdependence to form.
The most magnetic quality is self-possession – knowing and being secure with yourself. Developing this goes a long way.
32. Practice Listening Skills & Be Interested In People
Listening skills are imperative in life, not just when seeking to attract the opposite sex. Here are a handful of ways that you can beef up those listening skills and learn to be interested in people as people and not just romantic interests.
- Practice active listening – When someone is speaking, give them your full attentive presence. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk, but actively listen to understand them.
- Ask follow-up questions – Get curious about the other person’s experiences, perspectives, interests and passions. Ask questions that allow them to elaborate beyond surface-level chat.
- Put your own stuff aside momentarily – Don’t constantly relate everything back to your own experiences. Allow the conversation to be about genuinely learning about them.
- Pick up on context clues – Listen for hints about what’s important to them, what they value, and how they see the world.
- Be present and minimize distractions – Put your phone away, make eye contact, and give them your focused attention.
- Avoid objectification – Don’t just listen to judge romantic/physical interest. Approach them as a complete human being with depth.
- Find commonalities beyond the superficial – Identify shared values, fascinations, humor, philosophies that you can bond over.
The key is to practice shifting from the self-focus and objectification toward a mindset of empathy, curiosity and respect for another’s authentic humanity. Healthy relationships blossom from this mutual understanding.
33. Expand Your Social Circles
You want to meet new people through authentic interests and contexts, not aggressively pursuing romantic connections. Approach it from a mindset of general openness, friendship and community first. Let relationships develop naturally through shared experiences and values.
Here’s what you can specifically do to confidently expand your social circles:
- Get involved with clubs, groups, or meetups centered around your genuine interests and hobbies. This allows you to organically meet people with shared passions.
- If in school, explore joining student organizations or community service groups to meet people through productive teamwork.
- Ask your current friends to introduce you to their other friend circles. Be open to making new friends-of-friends.
- Try taking a class to pick up a new skill – cooking, dance, improv comedy, etc. The relaxed social setting helps you meet new people.
- Respectfully make small talk at coffee shops, bookstores, parks when conducive. Don’t force it, but don’t be afraid to initiate lite conversation.
- Use online interest-based platforms as a means of finding local events or meetups, not necessarily for individual romantic pursuit.
Remember to respect boundaries, read social cues, and never make someone feel uncomfortable or pressured. The goal is to responsibly widen your social net and opportunities for connections – romantic or otherwise – to potentially form.
Science, Intuition and Practical Advice
Becoming more attractive to women might take more than just putting on a red tie and getting in touch with your emotions while riding in an extreme mountain bike race.
Every man is different and the way a guy approaches how he sees, treats and feels about women plays a part in how attractive a man is. But we do know that science shows us that our own actions and the way we present ourselves to women is a big part of how they feel about a guy.
So the next time you are wondering how to be irresistible to women, try to mix in a few research-supported changes and practical tips along with your own intuition about how to be more attractive to the opposite sex so you can finally land the romantic or social relationship you want.
» Readers’ Favorite: You might be interested in this guide on signs that a woman likes you.
People Also Ask
How can I attract any woman?
Become more attractive to women by being mindful, having confidence, being honest about your goals and dreams, and projecting leadership qualities.
How can I attract a woman instantly?
Present an appearance that women want in a man: strong without being overly muscled, wear a bold color like red, project an aura of high status and confidence and use humor to spark conversation.
What features attract a woman?
Women are attracted to men that are good communicators, demonstrate family values, don’t hide their flaws or scars, have stubbly beards and know how be vulnerable with women.
How can I sexually attract a woman?
Create sexual tension by being the kind of man she can see herself creating a family with by participating in smart risky activities like mountain climbing, demonstrate open body language in her presence or in photographs and know how to read the concrete physical signs of flirting to pick up on her interest in you.
How do you create a spark with a woman?
Turning a friend or acquaintance into attraction involves showing her that you are a worthy partner.
- Adopt a dog to demonstrate you are ready for long-term relationships.
- Show her that you enjoy having a friendship with her without it only being focused on a sexual relationship so she will know you care about her as a person.
- Put her needs first and mind your manners so she can imagine what life with you would be like.
Wrapping Up
And there you have it, you are now equipped with the knowledge and knowhow to emphasize in yourself to help you attract the woman of your dreams. Remember that it takes time and effort to improve in any area of your life.
Our recommendation is to start with a few or handful of these and work your way down. In time, you’ll become as attractive as ever to women and they won’t be able to keep their eyes off you.
What was your key takeaway?
Let’s continue the discussion over in the Gentlemen Within Private Facebook Community.
Looking forward to seeing you in there.